Building and maintaining strong relationships isn’t easy, and often as time goes on, the task becomes even more challenging. For many couples, counseling provides a way to reconnect and rekindle the emotional bond and attraction they once felt, bolstering the relationship and finding new strength in their union.
The team at Happy Apple helps couples build stronger relationships with comprehensive couples therapy featuring an array of techniques for a truly custom approach based on each couple’s unique needs. In this post, learn about one technique — emotionally focused therapy (EFT) — and how it can help you and your partner build a stronger, healthier relationship.
Emotionally focused therapy is a type of psychotherapy based in another psychological theory called attachment theory. This theory is based on an understanding that people seek deep, meaningful emotional bonds with others beginning in childhood and lasting throughout the adult years.
EFT involves three stages: de-escalation, restructuring, and consolidation. The first step, de-escalation, involves identifying negative behavior patterns that lead to relationship problems and interpersonal conflicts. Then couples learn to “rethink” those patterns to understand how their own personal insecurities and anxieties can take a toll on their relationship.
In restructuring, the second stage of EFT, each partner shares their deepest emotions, breaking down barriers that can stand in the way of a healthy relationship. This stage focuses on showing compassion and empathy for each other while establishing a deeper, more secure emotional bond.
Consolidation is the third stage of EFT. In this stage, couples focus on developing healthy communication styles through face-to-face practice. This stage underscores the progress made during earlier stages of therapy while helping couples replace damaging behaviors with supportive interactions focused on creating a true and lasting partnership.
EFT involves weekly sessions typically spanning a period of 8-20 weeks. At the first session, your therapist takes a history of each partner and gathers information about your relationship. They also observe communication styles and interaction patterns.
Throughout each session, you and your partner explore key aspects of your relationship and the connection you share, paying attention to the emotions, fears, and insecurities that surround it. You’ll be asked to react to each other in an honest way while learning to listen with compassion, empathy, and understanding.
Then, you’ll work to reestablish the strong and caring bond you once shared through open communication and exercises designed to “undo” negative behaviors and replace them with positive, supportive actions. Sessions build on the three stages of EFT, first examining and restructuring negative emotional behaviors, then learning new behaviors and forging a deeper bond.
Strong relationships form the cornerstone of a happy, healthy, stable life, but maintaining that strength takes some work. To learn how EFT can help your relationship be as strong as it can be, request an appointment online or over the phone with the team at Happy Apple in New York City’s Columbus Circle today.